Post-coital dysphoria is the feeling of suddenly feeling sad after intercourse. This feeling can be accompanied by uncontrolled sobs and incomprehensible to the partner. How to explain this reaction?
You may have already lived without being able to explain it. "Post-coital dysphoria", also known as "sex blues", is a powerful feeling of melancholy that occurs between five minutes and two hours after intercourse. Depending on the degree of sadness, it can lead to irritability, a need to flee, or even sobs.
This feeling of frustration is difficult to explain for the people who live it and often destabilizes the partner. This negative state can even potentially cause distress within the couple and disrupt their relationship processes. However, if it is still poorly known to the general public, postcoital dysphoria can affect any person at any time in his life. How to react ? How to treat the problem?
Men and women, as concerned as each other
Researchers at Australia's QUT University recently concluded that men could also suffer from post-coital dysphoria. A medical student named Joel Maczkowiack and his professor Robert Schweitzer conducted an "anonymous international online survey of 1208 men from Australia, the United States, the United Kingdom, Russia, New Zealand or still from Germany ". Their article "Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Correlations in Men" was published by the International Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
Of the men surveyed, 41% reported having had an episode of postcoital dysphoria in their lifetime, of which 20% had experienced it in the previous four weeks. Up to 4% of them admitted to suffer regularly. Some explained that they no longer want to be touched and need to be alone after sex, others said they feel restless, annoyed and irritable. Other respondents described a feeling of "emptiness", "without emotions".
This syndrome was known in women, but as the researchers point out, there was no data on the extent of this in men. According to Professor Schweitzer, "the male sexual experience can be much more varied and complex than previously thought". "The first three phases of the human sexual response cycle - excitement, plateau and orgasm - have been the focus of most studies to date," he says. "The experience of the resolution phase remains a little mysterious and therefore poorly understood (...) It is generally believed that men and women experience a lot of positive emotions, including contentment and relaxation immediately after sexual activity." , That is not always the case.
What triggers postcoital dysphoria?
"We assume that the reasons are multifactorial, including due to biological and psychological factors," says Professor Schweitzer. The causes of postcoital dysphoria remain poorly known - because they have been studied too little - but some scientists believe that the feelings of sadness and regret in humans result from the release of sperm and the exhaustion of the body. 'Orgasm.
Sex makes us vulnerable. After sexual intercourse, we are often emptied, naked and thus borrow to feel negative emotions sometimes repressed, forgotten or put aside. Women, or men, who have been sexually assaulted, for example, may see this painful memory go back once the excitement has passed. Rather than feeling good, relaxed, or close to his / her partner, this person will tend to shut up, feel bad, and move away from his / her half.
"It has been established, for example, that couples who talk, kiss and cuddle after having sex, feel greater sexual and relational satisfaction." Conversely, a gap can widen between the two spouses. If this feeling of discomfort persists after each report, consider consulting a doctor, sexologist or psychologist to understand its origin and start treatment. In any case, post-coital dysphoria can happen to all of us. Communication, at least with one's partner, remains the key to healing.